Want to know how Matt & I found out about the baby? It's in here!
Want to know how hard that first month was? Not telling people? Especially when we saw all of our friends! It's in here!
So enjoy this insight into our first months.
July 9, 2012
On Saturday (two long days ago), Matt had a race. He woke up nice and early and left me to fall back asleep. Which I did. Then Bones kicked me in the chin and I was awake. The three of us (Bones, Misty, & myself) were laying in bed and discussing whether to pee on a stick. Misty didn’t understand the concept, but Bones was all for it. He is great at peeing on sticks and thought I should try it out. I don’t think he had the same thing in mind that I did. In fact, for the next 5 minutes or so, Bones sat there watching me, trying to tell me how I was doing this wrong - all the great sticks are OUTSIDE!
Now let’s remember that I have been peeing on the same kind of sticks for the last year. And every month those sticks have said the same thing. Only one blue line. However, this time, and before the full amount of time was up, like maybe 30 seconds later, there were TWO blue lines. I sat back down on the toilet and watched the make sure the second line didn’t disappear. Then I burst into the happiest tears of my life. And danced around our bedroom butt-ass-naked (I was about to shower).
I took a picture of the stick – Bones still didn’t understand – and texted it to Matt, knowing that he wouldn’t see it for another two hours. Yup, covered in pee and surrounded by dog hair. Welcome to our life.
No lie, this was the hardest weekend ever. Because my mom was here to visit! We had a bridal shower on Sunday that she came down for and we spent the whole weekend together hanging out. And not once did I tell her I was pregnant. Not even a little slip. I wanted to so badly. But we aren’t telling anyone. Not until August 10. Our appointment is on August 1. And then my whole family is getting together for my sister’s birthday on the 11th. So we are going to tell them all together. I feel badly about stealing my sister’s birthday thunder. But they have been hoping for this for awhile. I think I have a really great way of telling them too. I hope I can pull it off. And we are going to take Matt’s mom out to dinner before we go and tell her. How will I ever last a month with this secret?!?!?!?!?
Tuesday, July 17
My tummy hurts. It has a somewhat constant feeling of tightness? I am not so much nauseous, and not really hungry. I am just uncomfortable.
Sunday July 27
I don't know how Matt and I have not EXPLODED with giddiness. And the worst part? We have had all our friends over in the last two weeks. and neither of us cracked! Well, Matt did.
Last Friday we went to a wedding and two people figured me out - but I told you about that. Saturday night, we had 8 friends over for boys v. girls game night. And none of them even asked about pregnancy stuff. Which was weird.
Monday, I went out to lunch with Matt's mom. She asked me how the baby stuff was going and I had to give her the answer about taking Clomid and explain how it works. She said she was praying for us. It is hard lying to everyone.
I went to the pool with my BFF Colleen. When she came over to pick me up I was working on stuff for school. I am at the point in the curriculum that I will not be teaching in the spring. Already on maternity leave. She got there and I made a comment like "I don't know why I even care about this unit" in my head the rest of that sentence went like this "because I won't be at school I will be delivering a baby!!!" In real life I ended that sentence like this "because it is so far away."
She was really curious about how the whole thing worked and doesn't like all the info I have given her in this process. She asked all sorts of questions while we were at the beach. She knows when I ovulated and about taking my temp every morning. And we talked the 4 hours about everything and I had to do quick math and figure out when I would be testing if I wasn't pregnant RIGHT NOW. Seriously hard. And we work together and another woman who works in athletics with us at school is pregnant and due in December and we were talking about how we were going to replace her for the winter season. Little does she know we will be having the same conversation about the spring season and me.
And then last night we saw the rest of our friends. Our neighbors have a pig roast every summer. It is a huge block party with kiddie pools and bouncy castles and more food than anyone could eat. So another 20 friends were here last night. 1 brought her new baby and another is due in November. So there was lots of baby talk and not once did I say anything about and us too in March!!!! SOOOOO HARD!!!!!!!!!! Matt almost said something a few times but bit his tongue.
SOOOOO HARD! Matt did tell one friend last night while smoking a cigar. It seemed like an appropriate situation. And Matt swore him to secrecy. So much that he didn't say anything to me when he was the only one left at the house. So secret - he is not even telling me!
Tomorrow, I am going in to work to get some materials and print some things out. I'm going in with 3 women from my department - 2 that I adore. This is soooooo hard!
I have a feeling that the next 3 days are going to be the hardest. And then we still have to wait. I don't want to be there and celebrate with them. Is that crazy? We will see his brother on Friday. But we won't see my family for another week. Maybe we will do a video chat with my whole family. Then we don't have to wait as long. Let me know what you think about this.
I think this email is sufficiently long enough. Love you!
All I am hoping for right now? A heart beat.