Sunday, May 27, 2012

This one is for Matt.

I've been writing this post in my head for the last few days. Each time I write this (in my head) I think about how much I need too share this. I have told Matt directly, but there are other people in the world who should know just how amazing my husband is on a regular basis.

Ps - I'm writing this in the car on the way to New York City. We are going out to lunch and then to see Rock of Ages on Broadway. My mom wants to edit this in case I say awful things about her. Ummmm yea right like I would let her see this before I post it.  Oh and she is pretty awesome so I don't know what she is worried about.

But back to Matt.

I normally complain that my husband is not the touchy-feely type. And it's true. He is NOT one to hug for no reason or want to cuddle. EVER. It's not that he hates me (because I love cuddling and touching all the time - not in the nympho way... just in the I-like-to-cuddle-all-the-time kind of way) it's just that he doesn't want that much touching, he likes to have his-own-space be near my-own-space. 

However, recently, he has more than made up for everything by being the most supportive person I have ever met. Including my mother. She didn't let me move to Philadelphia. But because of that I met Matt, so. Mom - I forgive you. But back to Matt.

Recently, we have survived a serious of unfortunate events. And no I will not tell you what they are. They are none of your business. Except I think everyone knows that we have been struggling to make a baby. And before you explain the logistics of baby-making, yes we know how, no we haven't been effective. So please don't share your baby-making success stories here. We are not even remotely interested in your sexcapades. We have run the tests on each of us and everything checks out. Neither one of us is to blame. Except maybe my uterus which just can't seem to orchestrate the whole event. Each month that we have not made a baby, we have been able to talk about it and return to our happy place of "maybe next month." There are tense moments but each time we have come out of them together. Matt is even making plans for Baby #2 and what we will do differently that will be better for me and my body.

Sometimes when I get upset, I cry. It is one way of dealing with my stress and letting it out. Matt is not a fan of any tear (unless they are because I was laughing so hard that I cry). Matt has a wonderful way of making me feel better instantly. He knows that I need a hug, and to be held for a quick period of time (shorter than my ideal time, but good nonetheless). And he talks me through it.

In short (hahaha) I love my husband. He is the best husband I could never have imagined him becoming. Through all the tough times, we have learned how to comfort each other. We have learned how to respect each other. We have become a better team because of it. 

Truly. I think that if we had gotten pregnant a year ago when we started trying, we would have been worse parents than we will be because of this past year. This past year has brought us together time and time again. In the face of hatred, stress, tears, and disappointment, we have prevailed. And I have Matt to thank for it.

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