I took today off. Well, I went to work, but I also left very early. About 6 hours early. It was lovely. I had a wonderful day. My alarm clock went off. I took a shower. I made my husband's lunch. I went to work and made sub plans. And then I left. I finished grading my tests. And I ran errands. I mailed packages to soldiers that I know and love, and some that I don't know but still love.
There was a purpose. I was going to see the doctor today, but I got what I needed today without my doctor's help. So long story short, I was very, very late this cycle. We thought I was pregnant. But 10 tests (slight exaggeration, but only by 4) and blood work confirmed that I was very not pregnant. And today my body confirmed all those tests. After the first test (13 days ago) I was sad. But each test just kept confirming that first answer. So, while I should be sad because I don't have a baby right now, I am not. I am excited to try again this month. In fact, the thing that makes me the happiest is the love I feel from my hubby. Matt is amazing. We are in the best place we have ever been. And this not baby has helped us get here. So while I am sad about the baby that wasn't, I am so much happier in the marriage that is.
And so, while I should have been sad all day today, it has also rained all day. I have been listening to the rain since I woke up this morning. And instead of being sad, it has been so relaxing. Because in order for Spring to bloom, Autumn needs to turn in to Winter. So I hope this rain turns into snow soon.