Lessons learned

Becoming a parent is hard work. You are thrown into the deep end with no instructions on how to survive. You get all sorts of unwanted advice and some that you want. But most of the time we play with trial and error and we learn from our mistakes. So here are some of the lessons I have learned the hard way.

1. don't wake her up unless you mean it.
   
2. Don't let her nap until 9 p.m. And definitely don't be naive and think she will sleep through the night after that nap.
   
3. Trust your instincts and ignore the advice of well meaning family members and friends. If you wanted their opinion you would ask for it, but that doesn't mean you are going to act on it. And that's okay.
   
4. Stick to your guns even when it hurts. If you want to breastfeed or use cloth diapers do it because it's important to you, but don't give up because it's hard. You don't know if you can be successful until you try. And if you quit just because it's hard you might regret it later. And don't let someone talk you out of it just because it might be easier.
   
5. Be willing to make mistakes so that you can learn from them. Learning how to be a parent is one of the hardest things I am learning how to do. But when she smiles in her sleep, it is absolutely rewarding. Even though it is not intentional.
   
6. It's okay to call the pediatrician every time you have a question. And it's okay to call your daycare provider too. They both have a better idea of what is going on and more experience than  you. Why not use it? It's what they are there for. To help you out. Ask questions - especially the dumb ones. You will feel so much better having asked them.
   
   
7. As the parent you get to make the rules for everyone else interacting with your child. You can say no to your mother and mother-in-law. They were both upgraded to Grandmother status and are not in charge. Tell them no ahead of time instead of correcting them afterwards. I still struggle to tell my mom to stop doing things that make me uncomfortable with Eliana - because she is my mom. I am getting better about it, but it is hard.
   
8. Go with it. You never know what she is going to show you. She could show you how to sit, crawl, walk, talk, share, smile, go down the slide face first. You just never know. So take a breath, let her hold your hand, and smile. Your child is about to do something amazing. 

I love being a mom. I love it so much. I can't imagine my life without that little Jellybean. She has taught me so much and changed the way I live my life. She has mellowed most (not all) of my rough edges and made me more able to go with the flow. 

My favorite memories of these last 14 months? When she smiled at me for the first time. She held my hand for the first time. She hugged me. Her face lit up as I walked into the room.  In fact, it does every morning as I go in to wake her up. When she calls for Mama at daycare - Marilyn tells her that Mama is there, and she calls for me. I love it. 

Happy Mother's Day to me this year and every day that I am blessed to be a mom and the Mom in this family and house. It is a blessing. And I am thankful for having the opportunity to learn every day from an amazing little runt.

Let's recap

So much has happened in the last two months. I don't even know where to start. Let's go back to the beginning of March...

So we bought a house, you knew that. And two week later Miss Eliana turned the BIG ONE! We had a lot of fun celebrating her birthday. It was a fun filled weekend with tons of family and friends. On Friday Mommy took the day off from work to bake 80 cupcakes. Friday night, Tia Sarah came down to spend the weekend with us. Saturday morning, the parties began.

Grammy Linda hosted a party for the family. All her Grandparents were there, aunts and uncles, and family friends. We ate fajitas, opened presents, and ate cupcakes. All in all a great day.

On Sunday, we hosted all our friends for one last party in the townhouse. It was bittersweet. But we had a great time celebrating how big this little girl grew.

After that party, it was full steam ahead, in terms of packing. We had two more weeks until we officially had the new house and could start moving, but the townhouse felt empty. We were getting things ready for professional pictures and an open house.

Tuesday April 1. We settled on the house. We dropped Eliana off at daycare and walked through the new house for a last time (to see if they finished the work) and went to sign the papers. 45 minutes later - we were home owners of TWO HOMES. Oh crap. We spent the afternoon in the house. I painted Eliana's room and installed the closet systems. Matt & Ken spent the day unloading the mini storage unit.

We spent every afternoon of the next two weeks in the new house getting it ready for the big move. Matt... did whatever he was doing... lots of noise and dust. He moved tools and materials. I spent time unpacking the kitchen, unpacking fragile stuff, and making the beds.

Thursday April 4 - We spent our first night in the new house. We then got up Saturday morning for a very quick trip up to CT. My parents were being honored at their Temple fundraiser.

Wednesday April 8, we slept in the townhouse for the VERY LAST TIME.

Thursday April 9. We officially moved into the new house. Eliana slept in her crib in the new house and we loved every second of it.

Friday April 10. I took the day off from work and unpacked the house. Linda came over to help keep me on track and motivated. We made a Home Depot run. We finished packing the townhouse (it had almost nothing left in it at this point). And Linda was able to experience first hand how much clothing I owned as we put it away and hung it all up in the closet...

Saturday April 11. We have the best friends in the world. When we moved into the townhouse 6 years ago, Tim & Ken helped us move - and by us, I mean me. Matt rented a 24 foot truck. His stuff filled 4 feet, and my stuff filled 20 feet. Be aware I had all the furniture for the WHOLE HOUSE except for his bed. Fast forward to present day, we weren't sure they were going to be willing to help us again, but they did and this time it worked out in Tim's favor. Ken had helped us on the first move date, and little did any of us realize, he did the bulk of the moving. That Saturday morning, Tim & Sarah, Alicia, and Phil all showed up nice and early to help us move. All that was left was furniture and some random odds and ends. They all met up at 8am. I got there at 8:30, after Linda came to watch Eliana. By 9am we were done. By 10 am the furniture had all been placed and reassembled.

This was the easiest move I have ever seen. Every afternoon we unpacked and every evening we packed again for 10 days. It made the move so manageable. BEST MOVE EVER.

And in the last month we have done a ton. Matt has planted grass in the backyard; installed attic vents (read all about it on HIS BLOG), and spent a lot of time on the phone with comcast trying to keep our Internet working. I have hung lots of our artwork, the photos are still considered in progress. We had friends over for an impromptu BBQ - turns out the backyard is wonderful (if you don't need shade), we set up a water table for Eliana and co. We've had visitors, Beth, Grandpa, all sorts of closer friends. And most importantly, we've moved in. It feels like our house.

It's crazy to think of the last 6 years we spent in the townhouse as over. But they are. We have a lot of great memories from there - doing renovations with Gerry, painting every room at least 3 times, getting married, Thanksgiving, Ken's birthday celebrations, dancing in the dining room, adopting Bones, the first pregnancy, bringing home Eliana, Eliana's firsts: smiles, hugs, sitting up, words, crawling, steps, just to name a few. It was more than a house, it was our home.

I am really looking forward to making this new house into our new home. I hope you enjoy this new journey with us. Thanks for all your support through the last one.

Month 12. My big 1 year old!

Miss Eliana turned the BIG ONE! We had a lot of fun celebrating her birthday. It was a fun filled weekend with tons of family and friends. On Friday Mommy took the day off from work to bake 80 cupcakes. Friday night, Tia Sarah came down to spend the weekend with us. Saturday morning, the parties began.

Grammy Linda hosted a party for the family. All her Grandparents were there, aunts and uncles, and family friends. We ate fajitas, opened presents, and ate cupcakes. All in all a great day.

On Sunday, we hosted all our friends for one last party in the townhouse. It was bittersweet. But we had a great time celebrating how big this little girl grew.


There have been a lot of developmental milestones recently too.

• Eliana talks constantly. She always has. But now she points to things and yells at us about them (it's cute). Some of her words include: Mama, Dada, Matt, Bones, up, this, that, NO!, juice, dog, thank you. She has starting repeating us as well. Marilyn (our daycare provider - who is beyond AMAZING) says "here you go" when she hands something to Eliana. So Eliana said it to Matt when she handed him a toy. She told Bones to "get down" right after I did also. Time to start watching what we say.
• She definitely understands what we are saying too. When I tell her it's time to change her diaper, she walks straight to her bedroom. She knows where to go for juice, milk, and cheese. And she will dance on command - with or without music.
• Eliana is a full on runner at this point. She has been cruising around the furniture for months. Definitely since end of January. Around Valentine's Day she took a few steps and then wouldn't do it again. She started letting go of furniture and walking a few steps to another piece of furniture around the end of March. By the big move, she was walking all by herself. She walked with her arms out like a zombie, but she was walking. Now, 2 months later, we are running. And we are running fast.
• Recently, Eliana has been bringing her teddy bear with her out of her crib (shame on us I know because now Teddy comes out of her crib and he didn't until recently). And wanting to get him dressed. She understands the mechanics of getting dressed and doesn't need help to get her arms in her shirt (mostly). She tries to put T-shirts and socks on her Teddy, but struggles. She was so upset last week when Teddy's shirt came off by accident. Maybe a onesie will work better?

And just to remember how far we have come...

And today you are 14 months old and I love you more than words can write. 

11 Months

I can't believe that there is less than one month until my baby girl is no longer a baby. It's crazy. I can't believe how much my life has changed in the last year.

But this month. Because I was paying attention!!

• Upgraded from 5 teeth to 6 teeth. Eliana currently has 2 on the bottom and 4 on the top. And she bites like a ravenous shark. SO PAINFUL!
• She can officially go down the one step from our dining room to our living room. I showed her (by pushing her) for an hour and she had no interest. So I left it alone. A week later, she did it all by herself! And then she did it 3 more times to make sure I wasn't seeing things!
• At daycare she has weaned herself off of her morning nap. That is NOT the case at home. But that's okay too.
• Eliana eats more people food than bottles now. She gets bottle around naptime and bedtime, but that's it. She prefers to feed herself. We went out to dinner this week and she was frustrated that I insisted on feeding her from the fork since we had no placemat for her food.
• Eliana can walk assisted. She will be a force to be reckoned with - she will only walk where she wants to go. If you turn her body to go another way, she drops to her butt and refuses to walk with you anymore. Trust broken!

My snow babies!

The first cupcake, but defintely not the last

In a moment of parenting genius, we celebrated two things. E turned 10 months on Monday and I turned 31 on Tuesday. And because best friends are normally filled with "good" ideas, Colleen gave me 30 cupcakes to celebrate my birthday.

So I give you, 5 minutes of E eating her first cupcake.

SO CUTE! 

A Super Cute Sink Moment

Who needs words to explain this??? 

I don't think she likes bath time very much 

Seriously cute. Every time she takes a bath. 

Our First Halloween

OOOOOO. First Halloween has come and gone. And the pictures are tooooo cute for words!

We had two Halloween experiences.
First, with the Mommy Group!

Look at all those cute babies!

And then on Halloween. Amber came over with her little Monkey. So cute.

Can you stand the cutesness?!?!?!?!

7 Months

Month 6

Weight: 16 lbs. 14 oz.          70 percentile
Height: 27.75 inches            97 percentile       Weight to Height - 15 percentile

Head: 44 cm.                       85 percentile

Month 7

Weight: 19 lbs. 

Skills

• Oh I don't even know.
• Eliana talks all the time. 
• Eliana eats everything. 
• And really? It's all about the pictures. 

Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?

At Eliana's 4 month appointment, everything was going well, or so I thought...

I love our pediatric practice. As a WHOLE they are wonderful. They can calm me down quickly and answer my questions. When the person I am talking to doesn't know the answer, she goes and finds it. I like them. Matt came with us to the first few appointments and picked out a Dr. that he felt comfortable with. She is nice, and very young. Not like Doogie Howser level young, but sometimes she feels like that.

Anyway. Back to our little story. Something wasn't right. Doc wasn't talking. She was just kinda doing the same thing over and over again. And then she said she would be right back with another Doc. She has done this before, and I am okay with it. She wants to make sure the information she is giving us is correct. I appreciate it. Doc #2 came in and did the same things Doogie Howser did. Then they both left. Eliana and I started to make fun of them. And have fun - like we do.

Doc came back in and said that Doc #2 confirmed her suspisicions. There is a SMALL chance that Eliana might have Down Syndrome.

WHAT?!?!?!

COME AGAIN!

JK. I didn't actually freak out. I was more shocked than anything else. I mean, we had the test when I was pregnant to check for Downs, even though I didn't care at all about the outcome, just wanted to see my baby again. I never in a million years would have terminated the pregnancy if she had Down Syndrome. I just wanted another fancy sonogram. I wanted to see her beautiful face.

So I started asking questions. Doc told me that it was because of a few things.
1 - Eliana wasn't standing up assisted. When you hold her up she doesn't put her feet down.
2 - Her tongue is always sticking out.
3 - Her muscle definition is loose.

So then I responded.
1 - Of course she isn't standing up, no one told me she was supposed to. SO why would I make her.
2 - I am the runt of my family when it comes to tongue length, and I can touch my nose. My brother's tongue was out until he was much older.
3 - SHE IS 4 MONTHS OLD! Of course her muscle definition is loose. She doesn't go to the GYM! what was I thinking!!!

Doc explained that had our positions been switched, she would want to know that there is a small chance that her child might be on the MOSAIC for Down Syndrome. Mosaic? Is that like the spectrum for Autism? Nope, its a mosaic. IDK.

She told me that there was a number I could call and they would come to the house and do a full physical, emotional, and mental exam to confirm. Or I could do blood work. On a FOUR month old. Right. So I asked the Doc, "Does she look like she has Downs?" "No."

The whole reason Doc told me this was "in case" she does have Downs. She didn't want me to be shocked or surprised if it showed up on her blood work later on.

So I went home. And told Matt. He wanted to call and make appointments and get her checked out, etc. I said sure. I will make the call. And the next day, Eliana started putting her feet down and standing up. And we never did anything about it.

Fast forward 2 months. To her 6 month appointment. I took her alone again, and we purposely saw the same Doc as before. We went through the motions and all the regular stuff. Then at the end of the appointment Doc said "You remember all that stuff about the possibility of Down Syndrome? Yea, I don't think there is any chance she has it." My response? "I know."

Every friend and family member I told this story to was appalled by Doc's behavior. And rightfully so. Had this been any other parent, especially a FIRST TIME PARENT, everything about how they raise that child would have changed. Most parents would start looking at this child as special or disabled. Doc was lucky it was me in the room that day. And she is lucky I don't have an interest in suing her. She could have completely derailed our relationship and damaged our family. Just in case.

Never once did I suspect that Doc knew what she was talking about. Never once did I suspect that my daughter might have Down Syndrome. It was not in the realm of possibility. So no.

In fact, I was more upset this past week by how much her butt her because of her diarrhea. Which was MY FAULT because I fed her carrots - and she is clearly still allergic.

Moral of this story? I am going to see Doc once more at 9 months. And I am going to talk to her about her decision to say "might" and "possibility" because any other parent would have freaked out. And then, I think we are going to switch Docs in the practice. No worries, there are 8 others to pick from and I have liked almost all of them.

6 Months

Month 5

Weight: 16 lbs. 4 oz.

Month 6

Weight: 16 lbs. 14 oz.          70 percentile
Height: 27.75 inches            97 percentile       Weight to Height - 15 percentile

Head: 44 cm.                       85 percentile

Skills

• Eliana can sit. All by herself. CRAZY. She started the month wobbling, but can now stabilize herself while sitting. She sat for an hour on the floor this afternoon unassisted. And while she is down there she reaches and plays with toys. Anything she can get her hands on and then into her mouth. I can sit her on the floor and wash dishes and she stays put. It's crazy how fast she is growing.
• Solids. They are AMAZING! Eliana loves to eat (not surprising). She loves green beans, squash, and sweet potatoes. Carrots were iffy at best. She ate apples too many days in a row and the acid did a number on her tush. Bananas, pears, and peaches have been hits as well. She tolerates oatmeal, and more if I add fruits to it. She has also started eating a little meat in her purees. She will eat almost anything it seems. Good.  
• Eliana loves daycare. She loves sitting with the other babies and talking to them. She also loves all the noisy toys she doesn't have at all. I felt bad, and bought her two for at home... When I pick her up in the afternoon she gives Marilyn a hug and then reaches for me. It makes the whole day worth it. I think once of my favorite parts is when other children come and say goodbye to her when we leave. 
• WORDS. They have started! Dada happened this morning!!! Not directed at Matt, but still said out loud. Da da da da da da da da. And sticking her tongue out to spit.
• Eliana has been chewing on our fingers for weeks. Then two weeks ago, she was chewing on my finger, and it hurt. There was something sharp in there. She wouldn't let me look at it for a few days. But once I did, there were TWO TEETH hanging out right there in front! Just waiting to say hello. She never complained about them coming in or had a fever. It was more of a surprise to me than anything else. 
• We have been trying to get her to nap in her crib. Last weekend, I fought her for two hours and then I finally won. It has been lovely to have her nap in her own room, away from the noise. In fact, it is that skill that is allowing me to write right now. 

Long and short of it is. these first six months have gone by so very quickly. I miss my itty bitty baby girl. But I adore the big girl who smiles, giggles, and plays with me. I cannot remember what my life was like without her. And I don't really want to. She has been the best gift ever. (I hope I remember this moment in 14 years....)